Here you go, the full segment where Howard talked about Google. I’m surprised, but he was a lot more spot-on than I thought he would be, and Robin made some good insights. Robin seemed to echo what I’ve been saying about how odd Google’s hiring practices are. Still, I don’t think Howard gets that Google is trying to avoid the pitfalls of other startups, by discouraging extravagant spending. Read the transcript I compiled and let me know what you think.
Howard: I was watching 60 Minutes, they did like a infomercial for Google, I mean it was the most incredible –
Robin: I know. I wanna go work for them now.
Howard: It was the most incredible report on Google. Like, Google stock is through the roof, and, you know, I’m watching the thing, and they’re talking about how cool it is to work for Google, like you know it looked pretty cool. They make you these gourmet meals every day, so you won’t leave Google, you know, and you won’t go take a lunch break –
Robin: You don’t have traditional offices –
Howard: – it’s cool –
Robin: – They have a couch, and you don’t have to wear traditional business clothes –
Howard: And nobody busts anyone’s balls. You know, you could be on your computer all day screwing around, cause screwing around leads to good ideas.
Artie: Like our work atmosphere.
Howard: Yeah. So, watching this thing, and they’re talk about how a whole bunch of these people work for Google, and become multi-millionaires, you know, like some of them are worth like 40-50 million bucks; the two guys who run the place, who started it up are each worth six billion dollars cause the stock’s valued so high, and I’m watching this thing but they go, the catch is, all the people at Google like to pretend that they’re still poor.
Robin: Right. They can’t really spend the money.
Howard: It’s really funny, cause everyone has to walk around and p-, everyone has to talk about how little money they spend,
Robin: Even the guys who have six billion dollars we talked about, they still drive ratty cars –
Howard: Drive ratty cars, and they, and they’re like, “Yeah man, I don’t own a home, I just got some ratty apartment”. And some other chick who works there is like, “Oh no no no, I guess we made some money, but it’s not about the money, I mean, we don’t even have a new car. My last car I bought 1974”.
Robin: I couldn’t drive a Jaguar and park it around here.
Artie: It’s almost like mob guys who have to hide money.
Howard: Yeah, its really w-. They didn’t do anything wrong, but there’s some bizarre thing that the less money you spend, the less you act like you actually made some money, the more, the better you are, the better you are as a Google guy. You know, and I’m like, what’s the point then?
Robin: And the motto of the company, what was it, “Do No Harm” or something?
Artie: Do they think that people always stay hungry, if that’s the case?
Howard: I think it’s one big paranoid delusion, like they’re all afraid its going to go away, if they somehow admit they’re successful, cause you know how people on the internet turn on you in two seconds if you’re successful. It’s almost like a band, like Metallica becomes popular, and right away they sellout. “Oh man, you guys are sellouts, man”. They made money, so they’re sellouts, or something, and they’re so afraid its going to go away, cause, lets face it, another search engine comes along, and you know, people’ll dump ‘em, I mean, do you Google? I don’t. I Yahoo every time.
Robin: I do whatever’s up, I don’t particularly do anything.
Howard: I’m a Yahoo guy.
Artie: Somebody punched in my name into one of those things once, for me, and it was the most depressing thing I ever saw –
*scream sound effect*
Artie: Well, it was like, you know, Artie’s gonna die at 38 –
Robin: So you don’t really need a search engine
Artie: My name is on, I’m gonna say my name is on, last check, around 10,000 website. 9880 of them are negative
Howard: So I can, I mean, I would Google, but years ago, I put in Yahoo as my default –
Robin: – search engine –
Howard: That comes up, so –
Artie: Well, wasn’t Yahoo, wasn’t this the whole rap on Yahoo, a couple years ago, that they, all their employees had got real rich, and anyone who invested in that –
Howard: Yeah, its fine to make money, but why, why hide it? Like why can’t the guy who just made six billion dollars buy himself a new car? How is that gonna ruin what they’re doing?
Artie: Yeah, spend the money.
Robin: And the only way they bust your balls is trying to work for them. Remember the test? Now they give all kinds of crazy tests –
Howard: It’s bizarre.
Robin: – with weird question on ‘em, and if you don’t answer the questions right, you can’t work for them.
Howard: And its kind of like, if you wanna work here, that’s not cool, or something. It’s a weird logic.
Robin: Yeah, they’d rather recruit you, than have you come and ask to work for them.
Some guy: Well something’s working for them.